Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Breaking Bad is finished, and what a great finish it was.  I can't help but wondering what might happen to the characters now that the show is done...
  • Skyler - Skylar is irreparably damaged from the past few years with Walt.  She begins a string of tumultuous relationships with abusive men and is a less than stellar parent.  Her life spirals into a dark abyss of cigarettes, alcohol, and bad relationships.  She lives out a long depressed life doing very little of anything. 
  • Walter Jr/ Flynn - He realizes what his father did and gives most of the money to charity.  He then turns very dark, plays Grand Theft Auto 21 hours a day, starts a collection of automatic weapons, and becomes the next poster child for gun control. 
  • Holly - Her life is wrecked before it has really begun. As she gets older, she looks for significance in the wrong kinds of men.  She becomes an exotic dancer in her late teens.  Later in life she is a homeless prostitute meth head living on the streets of Albuquerque.  Ironically she dies of malnutrition stemming from her chronic meth habit. 
  • Jesse - Not knowing where else to turn, he goes to Marie's house.  They end up crying in each other's arms, finding mutual solace in each other's pain.  Jesse spends the night and just never leaves.  Eventually he converts the garage into a wood shop, takes up woodworking as a profession, and becomes well known as a master craftsman of fine wooden boxes which he sells on Etsy and Ebay.
  • Marie- (see Jesse above) - Marie gets a fat widow's pension from the DEA and is set for life.  She finds love with Jesse.  They both cry a lot, get married, and have four kids named Hank Jr, Jesse Jr, Flynn Jr, and Jesse Marie.
  • Saul - Starts a new life in some small Midwestern as a used car salesman by the name of Paul Goodman whose slogan is 'Better Call Paul.'
  • Badger and Skinny Pete - After using up the money Walt gave them for a two month drug fueled party, they end up broke.  Then, it's back to normal for these two.
  • Huell - No one ever comes to get him so he starves to death in the hotel room.
  • Hank and Gomez - After months being buried in the ground, they rise from the dead and hail the beginning of the zombie apocalypse.  Cue The Walking Dead prequel.

Saturday, January 26, 2013

5 Things I Love About Rednecks

I grew up in a small town in Georgia.  And many of the people I grew up around, family included, were rednecks.  Most of them still are rednecks, and they are dang proud of it too.  Rednecks,
Country Folk, Hillbillies, Bumpkins, whatever you want to call them, are often made fun of. Jeff Foxworthy made an entire career out of being a redneck. 

But being from redneck stock, I've recently realized that this much maligned portion of our population is a noble breed, set apart from the rest of the world. Here are five things I love about Rednecks:
  1. Rednecks are polite and respectful: They always know how how to treat women, how to treat guests, and how to properly address their elders
  2. Rednecks are friendly: They wave at passersby and say hello to people on the street.  Why?  They understand the simple importance of being friendly.  Because many rednecks live in smaller communities, they often know a lot of people.  And if they don't know the people they pass, they probably know someone who knows that person. So they are friendly because they belong to an interconnected web of people. 
  3. Rednecks are independent and value self-sufficiency: From growing their own food, to killing their own food, to working on their cars, rednecks have skills that most of America has already lost. But when the apocalypse comes, guess who's going to be sittin' perty (as they say)!  Rednecks!!
  4. Rednecks tolerate the government, but they don't love it: Rednecks proudly pledge allegiance to the our flag, serve our country, and love our country.  But they don't love the government.  And they especially do not love the politicians. 
  5. Rednecks are generous and help when there is a real need: If your car ever breaks down, if your dog gets sick, if you ever need help in any way, pray that there is a redneck nearby. They will help you is they can. And if you know someone in their family, well that's just a guarantee that they have to help you.
Rednecks are the backbone of our society.  They grow our food, make our cars, and send their sons and daughters off to war for the rest of us.  So today, I salute Rednecks.  Thank God I'm a country boy (at heart)!!